Eye of God
Out of the Eye of God
    They come into Being
Sparks
Spinning
Falling to the Ground

As Two they Land
    Naked

Feet felt against new earth
Lungs filled with sweet air
    sweet water
Trees to feed them and shelter them

And it was good

With awe and innocence
They look into each others eyes
    and find themselves
Sacred in the Garden

They dance
    spiralling
Hearts open to the warmth
Circling the center
    a crimson pole
    alive pulsing
A fulcrum
    pulling them closer in their surrender

They reach out and touch
    unsullied skin
    silken territory
    never before explored


A New Order

Men
Marching
Men
    in rows
Marching
    As One
All blond
Men
They were young
Men

Crisp Uniform
Crisp Step
Arm held high
    in salute

Stepping
Black boots
    As one
Stamping
    Out Chaos
Proclaiming
    a New Order

His words
    Ringing
In their
    Ears
Filling their hearts with pride
Pushing them
    to triumph
Over Evil
Over Demon Men

Men
Marching
Men
    As One

They sang
    of the homeland
    and honor
They sang
    of the homeland
    and honor

He stood blessing them on their crusade
    black robe
    white cassock
Sprinkling them with Holy Water
“These children have been cleansed of sin
    brought into the Hand of God
    and will clear the earth
    of the impure
    and unworthy”


A Goddess

She comes to me as smoke
    in essence a goddess
    scented with Chanel

Emerging
Elegant
    a simple string of pearls

She stands
    before the mirror
    readying herself
    for the evening

And I am warmed by her presence


Free

They were free
    laughing
    playing in the field
Free

They were free
    spinning
    dancing
Free

Children
    Girls and Boys
Voices
    Filled with Joy

Free

Free

Arms held high
Way up to the sky

Free


Playing in the field

Free

Free

Warm in their hearts
Clear in their eyes
Innocent Touch
Free

Free

Free

Free


Chaos

Bless me Father for I have sinned

And he said

“Of course you know
Chaos exists
    in the Universe
    and the streets of San Francisco”


Guise

They were all guise
    assembled on the field
They leaned into each other
    with measure
Guarding
    against being entered
Defeated
Initiating each other
    into the cult of man

The boy stood on the field
    not understanding
    unprepared
Helpless against their advances
    pushed aside
    as they entered his zone
Stealing
    something unknown
To him

Fallen
He lay on the grass
The young jock
    All-American
    approached
The boy confused
    a conflict of emotions
    choking his throat

The jock
    ruddy
    strong
A vapor emanating
    an aura musty red
    man boy scent
    pungent
    sweet

He stood
    towering above the boy
    gym shorts tenting
    panting with animal eyes
Pulling a knife from his sock
    he reaches down
carves into the prone figure
    striping the chest red

The boy is lifted by his legs
    flipped over
    facing the ground
In his head
he repeats endlessly
    “I am dead. I am dead. I am dead. ………..”

He shatters into a thousand pieces
    and is scattered by the wind


Red Sharp
He rains down red
    sharp
    tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

He sings the dark song
He weaves the dream web
He enters me at night
Through window
Through flying curtains

He rains down red
    sharp
    tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

Forked tongue
Flaming eyes
Winged heels
Red palm held forward
    reaching out for me

He rains down red
    sharp
    tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

He consumes me
    or casts me aside
He carries me rolling
Through league
    and canyon

And beyond fear
    I want it
The flicking tongue
    I want it
The quickened breath

The dark flow like night
    closing in on me
    washing me to nothing

He rains down red
    sharp
    tearing through the sky


Long Needles
The older man is nude
The young boy
    13 or so
    is also nude
The boy is laying on his belly
The man is kneeling
    straddling the boy
    slowly inserting
    long needles
    into the boys back

He screams in pain
    “Take it out. Take it out. Take the long one out.”

I am told to leave by the door behind me
I enter a dark patio
    am given a large wood bowl
    and told
If I want to join in
    I must eat the contents of the bowl

It is filled with brown mush
    feces


Barren
Frozen
Barren
She sits
    solid
    as a statue

Enthroned
Elevated

She glares down
    a harsh judge
    a mute witness to my pain

I skate across her hard surface
    seeking some warmth
    some comfort

I lay at her feet
    and wonder
    what I have done
    to be banished
    from her love


Hungry Eyes

They are after me
I am running
    through the field
    through the forest

They are after me
I am running
    through the field
    through the forest

They are after me
All men
    dressed in black

Black caps
Black guns
Black boots
    that shine in the sun
And I don’t know
    what I have done

They are after me
I am scared
    Running
Through the forest
Down a long dirt road
Trying to escape
I climb a gate

I am all alone

Running
    Through the field
Running
    Through the forest

Running

Running

Running

All Alone

Nobody to love

The Agony in the Garden

The Scourging at the Pillar

The Crowning with Thorns

The Carrying of the Cross

The Crucifixion

I am after him
And I want him
And I follow him
He is All-American

I am after him
And I want him
And I follow him
He is All-American

And he’s walking
Down a long grey hall
And he’s wearing
Only a towel small

And I want him
And I follow him

And he struts
    past doors
    and more doors
That open
    to small rooms
    with beds
    and men

Waiting
Wanting
Watching him pass
    with animal eyes
    with hungry eyes

And I want him
And I follow him
He is All-American

And he has a butt
    I could worship

They were after me
And I wanted him

They were after me
Dressed in black
And I was running
Through the field
Down the halls

And they were all men
    with hungry eyes
    angry eyes

And I was running

Running

I am a hungry dog
    sniffing and licking
    sniffing and licking


Help Me

Help me
    Help me
        Help me
I think
    I am falling
Help me
    I think
        I am falling
Help me
    Help me
        Help me
    I think
        I am falling
In love again


Accused
(When I first heard Isaac Hayes sing this song I started to cry.
It is written by Butler and Butler.
I changed she to he and added the last two lines.)

I stand accused
    of loving you too much
And I hope it is not a crime

Because if it is
    I am guilty
    of loving you
Oh yeah

I hope to God
That I never have to testify
Because if I do
    everyone they gonna cry
Guilty
    of loving a sweet boy like you

I just can’t
I can’t help myself
I’m a victim
    of circumstance
Just one touch of your hand
I don’t know how it happened
But just look at me
I’m trembling on the witness stand
And I’m shouting out
    All over
    All over the land

I’m guilty of loving you
I say I’m guilty

But what can I do

Don’t Ask
Don’t Tell


Landing

He’s landing
Hair and Hands
    Filled with flames
Blazing eyes
A river of wax
    Flowing down his back
Feathers
    Scattered at his feet

He had flown up
    Enraged
    To face God

His wings
    ripping through the air
His fathers cries
    falling far below him

He flies with a fury
    unkown to man
Facing the blinding Light

He reaches up
    and tears away
    the veil of the Guardian of the Secrets
And shows himself
Full before God

He’s landing
Hair and Hands
    Filled with Flames


Gladiator

Bowed before him
Towering
Impenatrable
Gladiator
Thigh strong
    steps outs and crushes
    grinding with heel to dust 

But I still feel
    the scream held tight
    the fear tensed tight
    cords between jaw and shoulders

To be seen is a scorching Sun
Too bright for an ordinary man
A chamber lined with a high pitched steady note
    and chants
    more rants of “Fag”

I love you I honor you I worship you
I place myself on the sacrificial bed
    and surrender to you fully
I do not exist
You are this touch

He took the dirt at His feet
Spit into it
    molding a body in strong hands
He brings His mouth to lips not fully formed
    dark specs of earth and twig
    and with warmth and tenderness
    breathes his breath
    steps fully into him
    and faces the world

A warm full Autumn day


He is Life

In the darkness
    our bodies unfold
    revealing secrets
    telling stories
Fuming
    sulfur heat
    and animal lust
That smells
    warm
    and earthy
Sweat
    like only 
    a man can sweat 

Tongues
Probing
Tasting the dew
    in pit and crevice
Sliding down
    pulsing shaft
    glowing red
The sacrament enters
    filling my throat
A hazy snake
    lazy in its descent

My heart 
    a flower opens
Nectar meets
    fluid Love
Slithering
Dancing
Melding

Oh God
Open your heart
Open your soul
Open your body
He is Life

He enters
Slowly
Tenderly
Testing me
As I surrender
    to anything
The world has to offer
Carrying me
    across the threshold of fear
Into the realm of trust
Surrendering to Him


The Snake

She is born of the earth
    and is the bearer of the snake
She emerges from the forest
    carrying the serpeant
    coiling in her hands

She stands
    in offering
I touch her hands 
    in thanks
The snake weaves its way up my left arm
    wraps my waist three times
    and perches on my right shoulder
Having returned 
    to its rightful owner

Her duty done
    in a cloud of rainbows
    and blazing glory
She ascends
    and is crowned by the Sun


My Own Man

I am my own man
I sing my own song
I draw my circle
    and seal my fates

I have been cursed and hated
    loathed berated
But all I really want
Is to live my life in peace

I am my own man
I sing my own song
I draw my circle
    and seal my fates

I’ve been told
    that I could never do it right
Breath Exist Live my life

But I’ve eaten my shame
    I have danced with the dark
There is a soire in my soul
    and God and the Devil
    are doing a lovely waltz

And I wonder
    “Whose heart is this beating, 
    the earth’s or my very own?”

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